My mom recently gave me money to go to the gas station to go get Allergy medicine. My mom, being a cab driver, doesn't have time to go get some herself because she's mostly the one to get called for fairs.
After our conversation, our kisses and goodbyes, I immediately walked to the gas station. I also took my music with me to relax a little. I've been going in and out of this exact same place a few times now, occasionally buying a snack or two for my family, or simply buying pens and pencils for school. The place would be so crowded and a few times I'd get a sweet hello from a grammar school child, or even a neighbor of mine would wave in recognition. This time, I was all alone...
There was a specific brand of medicine my mom wanted me to buy, there was extra money left over so I thought a bag of chips wouldn't hurt too much. But what happened next did...
I noticed the clerk was eying me and following me down every aisle. This alone made me a bit nervous. A few times I caught him and he pretended to dust off a shelf or walk the opposite direction for only a few seconds.
I spent a good three minutes trying to find the brand, but there was none left, so I bought something else. It was getting really quiet outside so I quickly grabbed my chips and went to the cashier. He looked at me without blinking and I couldn't help but to look back.
"What's that in your pocket?"
"Its just my phone." (I always put my things away before entering for convenience)
"Oh really? Then let me see."
I took out my phone with my earbuds still attached.
"What's in your other pocket?"
"Take it out of your pocket."
A bit annoyed I take out my wallet. Now with only my money left, rolled up in my pocket.
"Anything you wanna tell me about in your back pocket?"
"Its just money, you know, the thing I'm going to use to pay for my items."
He looked at me disgusted as he rung up the pricing. I broke the short seconds of silence.
"Why did you make me take out my things? It was quite unnecessary you know."
His response was something I though I'd never hear in a million years...
"You're black, aren't you?"
If it weren't for the sound of the buzzing freezer you'd be able to hear my heart shatter. I quickly put all of my items in the bag and walked out as fast as I could. Why is it he treats me like this? He never acted this way whenever other people were around. Why is it I automatically get discriminated because of the complexion of my skin?
That's probably the reason why I'm never accepted into anything. Why people give me funny looks when I try enjoying the things I like. Or even act the way I act, dress the way I dress. The reason why I'll never get respect from anyone...
........BECAUSE I'M BLACK.......
(tries to hold back tears and crawls away into a corner)
Hello again, Friend....
Reading: and editing this journal
Watching: tears fall from my eyes